Adventures in Motherhood: Breastfeeding

I had my first kid last year, and I have been able to breastfeed her which is a blessing. It's also extremely, chronically painful. Something I did not know beforehand - it seems very little research has gone into improving breastfeed, namely in the clogged ducts department. Like, they say massage and heat and hope for the best. It's ridiculous. 

I've struggled with clogged ducts since my daughter was born. Many mothers do not get them, or only get them once or twice. I have been getting them nearly weekly, sometimes more, every once in a while less. But through my struggles, many have reached out with advice and I would like to catalog what has helped me here. Obviously everyone is different, all of us are on our own journeys, but I'm writing this down in the hope that it can help someone. 

When my friend heard that I was getting clogs, she recommended Sunflower Lecithin (this supplement), which is a rather big pill (I'm not great with those) but I think it has been a game changer with getting my clogs to move out quicker. Before I started taking this twice daily, my clogs would linger for days on end - after starting it (and taking more on days with clogs), my clogs usually move on after a day or two. UPDATE: It comes in liquid format! It's super thick but I think it's easier to get down than the big pill version. Just make sure to blend it otherwise it's super thin then basically solid.

But that's still a day or two of pain, so my mom sent me a list of things that could be helpful and on it (#12)  was Happy Ducts Lactation Support (this supplement). [The supplement mentioned in the previous point is #13 on this list.] I put a few droppers of it into like a shot of water (it doesn't taste the best, kind of just herby, but I think it's worse to mix it into a drink) when I have a clog and this has really helped to move out clogs in usually the same day they start.

When I feel a duct clogging (hardening lump, feels very obvious), I warm the area with a heating pad my friend made for me - it's basically a beanbag filled with rice. I microwave it for about 15 seconds and place it on the painfilled area. The heat helps sooth the tender area and can help the clog move. I don't have a link for this one, since mine was home-made for me, but I'm sure there are plenty of options out there. You can look in the sports area of a CVS-type store and they should have ice/hot pads - I've heard that cooling the area can be helpful but I have not found that to be true for me. Or you could just fill a clean sock with rice, microwave it, and work with that. 

I alternate between warming the area and massaging the area. Now you can massage with your hand, I did that for the first few months, but dang the area hurts and I kinda feel like I'm hurting myself by messing with it. So my amazing husband found this little massager and it's great. That brand has several types - I have found success with this one so I haven't tried the others. It was a game-changer. It feels nice (the silicone is very smooth and does not catch on my skin or irritate it) and works well to break up the clog so it can be pulled out by either my pump or my baby. It's also water-proof so I can use it in the shower or tub, which means I can have hot water on the area while massaging which is helpful in moving the clog out. 

UPDATE from 2023: So when I wrote this back in 2021, above was the best practice. But now I've been told that you should use cold and not work the area, just treat it like a sore muscle instead? So I've tried doing that and it seems to help? Minimal massaging and using cold rather than hot. What do I use for cold? The packs that come with this very helpful C-section recovery band. The packs can go hot or cold, and when cold they are still flexible. The band itself was way more comfortable than the hospital-provided binders (my hospital seems to only have S or XL and I'm neither). I wore the band when going for walks in the month or so after my surgery - the band helps keep the surgery site stable and protected from clothes rubbing against it. The hot/cold packs fit nicely inside the band and help relieve the pain on the surgery site. 

UPDATE: I found out about these nipple shields and they seem to be helping immensely! I very rarely clog with my second adventure in breastfeeding and I started using them a week before I gave birth (like the instructions say) and it's a fairly simple change with seemingly great results (or maybe my second time nursing is just going way better? It's hard to know).

Dangle feeding is another thing mentioned in that list above and also mentioned by my lactation consultant (my baby's pediatrician's office employs several - check if yours has any!) but I have not noticed success with that.

If you notice inflammation or get a fever, please call your doctor since that could be mastitis and you should get that checked out. 

Hopefully you won't need this advice, but if you're reading this post then you probably do need it, so I hope something here is helpful for you! Reach out to moms you know - mine pray fervently for me as they know the misery that plagues me, and their prayers are an encouragement to me. You are not alone in this! I know the book of Psalms was written by guys, but some of the passages are quite applicable when struggling with this pain. 

One last thought, be mindful of your mental health. I know I get depressed when my chronic pain flairs up, and reaching out to friends for prayers and also reading the Bible help keep my spirits from getting too low. Find what works for you and remember to do it! Stay away from negative sources like the news or people who bring you down - find something that relaxes you to remove excess stress since nobody needs extra stress, especially when you're in pain and have a very needy baby! 

Postscript: How to finish nursing your baby? It was a big question for me because I have had plenty of supply for my whole journey. I started spacing out my baby's feedings as I could and kept spacing them out until I was just feeding her when she got up and when she went to bed. Dropping to just one feeding wasn't too bad, and after a week or so I dropped the lone feeding of the day and my baby was fine with it! But I was not fine with it - I slowly engorged over the next week until the pain was just too much and I had to express it. I then slowly engorged again and had to repeat - I think this happened three times, each time took about a week to get painfully full. I applied peppermint essential oil topically to help with the pain (and it might have reduced my milk supply), and it was not a bad thing. I did stop taking my sunflower supplement since that can increase milk supply and I did not want that.  After about a month, I was good to go! No more leaking, no more engorging, the milk supply is gone! 
UPDATE: On my second adventure, my milk was drying up on its own when I went down to one feeding so I just got a little clogged when I stopped but it alleviated after a few days and no more issues!

Migraine Relief - Daith Piercing

I get migraines. My friends know this. I've tried different medicines and was on a daily suppressant (beta blocker) but wanted to step down from that. I worked with my doctor and halved my dosage with no change, so we halved it again with still no change, so I stepped completely off it and started getting migraines every other weekend or so (just like I use to). I get them when I hit my triggers, like irregular meals, stress, dehydration, different weather patterns, and hormonal changes. I can avoid some of these triggers but not all, and even the avoidable ones happen sometimes because it's hard being so structured. 

My friend Cory got this ear piercing (daith) and it basically solved her migraine issues. She said I should try it and I figured why not, if I don't like it I can just take the earring out and keep going on my migraine journey. 

When I was up in CT for Christmas, I went with Cory and my mom to get the piercing (I was the only one getting pierced - Cory was there for guidance and my mom was with me for moral support). We went to Eminence Ink in Willimantic, CT, and had Lily helping us (she was the one who had done Cory's piercing).

Interesting fact from the Red Cross - if I had gotten my piercing in MD, I might have be banned from donating blood for a year. Since I got it done in CT, I'm good to donate. This screen capture actually says tattoo but I believe it applies to piercings as well since they are done in the same facilities (unless you use a mall kiosk). The more you know....

Let me be upfront about this: it was the most painful experience I have ever willing done. It was not as painful as my four-wheeling accident (where I got thrown from my quad, tumbled down a mountain, then got run over by my quad and tumbled further down the mountain) which involved a back injury and those are really the worst (also dislocated my knee and pretty sure got concussed).
I went at noon and had a granola bar before hand and another one in my pocket for afterwards. You don't want to do this on an empty stomach cause you could pass out - kinda like when donating blood.
I was seated in a chair in a private room. Lily cleaned the area and then started the piercing. The first pierce wasn't bad, felt kinda like a normal ear lobe piercing, but then it kept going because it's not a straight-through piercing, it's kind of a hook so you have to go in (not too bad), come out (bad), then I think slide the piercing tool out (getting even worse), then get the earring bar in (I was saying OUCH OUCH OUCH and getting really pale at this point), then twist on the balls on either end but we had to take a break before finishing that because I was not doing well. I nearly puked and nearly passed out. Lily had a standing fan next to the chair so she turned that on and gave me a lollipop for sugar and a cup of water and I was shaking SO BADLY and then I dry heaved. She said it was the adrenaline from the anticipation which was true but also it hurt really badly and for whatever reason, my body likes to puke when I'm in pain. It's annoying. So once I calmed down again (i.e. stopped uncontrollably shaking and had some color back in my face), she went back at it with twisting the balls on the ends of the earring. There wasn't much blood but there was much pain but at this point the worst was over. I then paid for it and some cleaning/numbing spray for it (about $70 for the piercing and $5 for the spray) and they said I really needed to get some lunch.
The piercing itself would have been quick if I had not nearly passed out and puked. It's a quick clean, stab, stab, twist, twist, done. But I think it took over an hour due to me not handling things well. In the end, here's the bar:

I can't see it when looking in a mirror, and you can only see it if you're looking at the correct angle at my ear (clearly per the picture, it is visible from at least one angle). 

The piercing was done on December 26. I used the cleaning spray three times a day with a cotton ball in CT and a cotton square in MD. It was super sore right away (normal) but then it started feeling infected, like warm and tender and I got worried. I was told by my sib-in-laws about ear syringes which sound scary but are actually similar to a water pick but, important distinction, with a soft tip. I got one from CVS (can't find it online but it's similar to this) to clear out the ridge where the top of the earring is (it's too tight for a q-tip) and then the inflammation went away and all is now well! In hind sight, Lily had told me to wash the area before putting the cleaner on it, but I couldn't figure out how to get in there (also it really hurt to touch it). Squirting water in there is the way to go!

Now the real question, will this piercing fix my migraine frustrations and lower their frequency? Well, truly only time will tell. I have only had it a week, but no migraines in that week! Of note, the last 5 years I have gotten a migraine over the Christmas to New Years time, and this year I did not get a migraine. So that's nice! I will aim to update in a month or two and say how things are going.

UPDATE:
It's been one day less that two months, but Tuesdays is when I do my blog so we're updating at this point.
Sad news first: I have had migraine since getting my daith pierced. I actually had the worst one in recent memory which kept me up at night and made me sleep deprived and I went to to Urgent Care which was a first for me and they gave me a shot for the pain.
Good news next: I think it is helping somewhat. I have noticed that my ear slightly hurts at times when I could be getting a migraine coming in but instead it's just some ear discomfort which is much preferred over a migraine.
Ending Thoughts: For some people, the daith piercing totally works and their migraines are gone. For other people, it does nothing and they still have migraines. For me, it is helping a little and maybe as it heals (it takes about a year to heal) it'll do more to fight the migraines? Who knows.

Stupid Wisdom Teeth

So back in the day I was told that I should get my wisdom teeth removed but they weren't a problem at the time. So of course I didn't. But the time has come and they are a problem.

Yes, although they originally came through properly, they are now moving and it is not good.

I have been told that getting totally knocked out is a good option and don't use a straw afterwards. Do you have any other advice for me? I have the consultation later this week and then I'll get the surgery scheduled.

Update: I had the consult and my surgeon seems like a nice person and I'm getting total anesthesia. The teeth all look non-complicated, so that's good. On the 15th when I went to schedule, they said I could come in on the 23rd - tooooo  soooooon and also I have something planned for that weekend so we settled on the 30th. I'll let you all know how it goes!

Pain and Prayer

I get chronic migraines. I have many triggers, but I'm learning them so I can better avoid them. However, some things (like the weather or time of month) cannot be avoided. Others (like stress or not getting enough sleep) are hard to avoid. The real issue is when several of these triggers all line up, and it's kind of worse when I can see them lining up and it feels like there's nothing I can do about it - I just know that it's going to be a migraine day.
Several of my triggers lined up last week. It was going to be a Migraine Thursday. However, I have Bible study on Wednesday night. I asked for my buddies to pray for me to not get a migraine. And when I woke up Thursday, NO MIGRAINE! It was great. I went through my workday fine.
However, I went to babysit at a friend's house that night, and I felt a migraine coming on. It's not a good feeling. It's really not a good feeling when you don't have any meds on hand, which was the situation I was in. So I prayed - it was literally the only thing I could do short of calling someone and asking them to get my meds and stop by, which would probably wake the kids and it wouldn't end well. So I prayed, and the pain WENT AWAY! It was awesome.
At the end of the night, I went back to my house and went to bed (that's a good normal thing to do). However, as I laid down, I felt the migraine come back. It was bad. I then debated - do I take my meds or do I just keep praying? I talked this over with my husband and he made a good point - God gave us the medical advances we have and we should use them. So I took some meds, kept praying, and went to sleep (thankfully it was weak enough to let me sleep). I woke up Friday morning - NO MIGRAINE! It was great.

The moral I get from this account: God can choose to heal miraculously. But He also can have us use the medical advances we have been given. Don't turn away 'normal' cures (meds) while waiting for a miracle.

Biblical account tie-in: Naaman.
Secular story tie-in: the guy on the roof praying for God to rescue him from a flood, who turns away two boats and a helicopter while waiting for God to miraculously rescue him.

Chronic Pain and Holidays

Chronic pain and holidays

It sucks.

Many people suffer from chronic pain. You learn to live with it mainly because you have no other choice; you learn your triggers and try to avoid them, but some triggers (like weather or calendar events) cannot be avoided. And sometimes your pain decides to flare up on a holiday. 

I get migraines. I got one on Christmas; it was really rough. My amazing husband helped me through it, and I have some medicine that allowed me to be mostly functional, but it was still a hard day. You are supposed to be happy on Christmas, and everyone else was happy, and I had every reason to be happy, but I was not; I was in pain. I am grateful that I was functional enough to get out of bed and try to enjoy the day - going to the in-laws' house, seeing family, opening presents - but I was not all the way present. I had to excuse myself a few times to go to a quiet part of the house and turn off some lights and try to unwind, hoping that would make the headache release but it did not. Thankfully the migraine went away the following day so I was able to engage with family for the rest of the weekend. 

If you suffer from chronic pain, know that you're not alone. Some can hide it better than others, but many are fighting that battle. Speaking about it can help; also reaching out to someone close to you can be beneficial. Remember to take care of yourself.